I WAS, BUT GOD...
But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much...
Ephesians 2:4 (NLT)
Over the span of five years, I felt like I couldn't get a grasp on my life. From the outside, it seemed like I was doing okay. I had graduated with my Master's degree, moved to Greenville, gotten married and started a career. But inside, I felt like I was drowning. My mind was a relentless loop of anxiety, depression, fear and grief, filled with questions like, What are you doing with your life? and comments like You'll never make it_._ It felt as though my world was crumbling around me. Finally, I started thinking, This can't be how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life. God must have more for me, right?
One night, in bed, I whispered to God, I'm done trying. I'm tired. Help me. I know there has to be more from You. You can do whatever You want now. That moment changed my life, and I heard His voice amid darkness. My surrender led to the chains of anxiety, depression and fear breaking. Since then, I've gone through many seasons, but one thing has remained constant: God. Whenever I start to worry or fall into old habits, I look forward and remind myself that God brought me out of darkness once, and He can do it again.
As I've fallen in love with God, I've learned that His love for me surpasses all understanding. It overwhelms me to the point of tears that the Creator of all things, seen and unseen, sees me and loves me so much and meets me where I am. He has made me alive in Jesus Christ.
There's a great song by Elevation Rhythm called I Was, But God. The chorus goes like this...
I was sinking, but I'm singing now
I was, but God, but God had a different plan
I was drowning, but I'm, I'm dancing now
I was, but God, but God had a different plan
APPLICATION: Because of His great love, your story doesn't have to end in death and destruction. Reflect on the lyrics above and enjoy the full song when you have a chance, remembering His great love.
PRAYER: Dear God, thank You for loving us first. Like a mother who loves her child in the womb, You have loved us since the beginning of time. I love You. Amen.
"… Our Father in heaven…" Matthew 6:9b (NLT)
• What do You want to say to me today as my Father?
"… may your name be kept holy." Matthew 6:9c (NLT)
• What do You want to reveal to me about Your power today?
"May your Kingdom come soon." Matthew 6:10a (NLT)
• Help me make Your priorities my priorities today.
"Give us today the food we need," Matthew 6:11 (NLT)
• Is there anything specific You want me to do with my time or the people I'm around today?
"and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us" Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
• Reveal to me anyone I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness.
"And don’t let us yield to temptation…" Matthew 6:13a (NLT)
• Is there anywhere I'm vulnerable to temptation?